[x]

Getting WorseI pick up the blade,
And set it on my wrist,
The world starts to fade,
When I know I can't resist.

That's just the start,
And it doesn't stop there,
It breaks my heart,
As I find out you care.

But the things get worse,
I start hitting my head,
Until it hurts,
And I fall on my bed.

My head hits the wall,
Once more,
Then I fall,
To the floor.

Air chokes my breath,
As I struggle to move,
It smells like death,
And I start to sooth.

I'm sorry I did this,
It's my weakness,
You are what I'm going to miss,
When I go into darkness.

ShardsThe dream shatters around me like a broken mirror.
Pieces of you surround me, but nothing seems to be clear.

I'm still cleaning up the mess you made.
You should have put down your fear,
You could have stayed.
I'm done chasing.
I've stopped running.
Have you even noticed that I'm walking the other way?

I'm cut by the shards of what's left of who you were.
Red tears stain the surface while the world is in a blur.

BulimiaI put my head up,looked at the mirror.
"Look at you",I said.
"Your eyes are red of crying,
Your face blushed of pain,
You have a scar on your hand,
Thanks to your teeth".
I really tried to be perfect,mama,
I really am trying.
Why do I keep hurting the ones I love?
And my heart is beating fast.
I think I am gonna fall.
Catch me,darling,don't disappoint me.
I need the smell of your skin on me now.
I love you.
My thoughts are lost in the paths of their perfection.
I am a stranger there.
And I was still looking at the mirror.
Talking to myself.
Staring at my own bulimic reflection.
"Look at you!You are beautiful even when

PridePride
Nervous
Sick, stupid
Worried they’ll think
You are dumb, useless
Building a wall between
Acquaintance and a friendship
It controls thoughts and opinions
So you can’t make the right decisions
Pride, it’s fear, it’s ego, it’s mind control

How Dare You?How Dare you suck out the strength in my limbs?
How Dare you distract me in lectures with a look,
A flicker of interest?
How Dare you smile knowingly at me, as broadly
As the ocean?
How Dare you know I'd do anything for you?
How Dare you wring my heart in my chest ruthlessly,
And make my cheeks burn?
How Dare you call my name, your tongue tethering to it
As if it were your own?

How Dare you?

How Dare you entice my ears with your jokes, your laugh? "You get to hear my
Droning voce," you say as you glance my way.
How Dare you twist my emotions into a salad of anxiety
And anticipation?
How Dare you holster down that which is sava

Safe and SoundI remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so dumb? How could I forget? I lay slumped in the hallway. Tears fell down my pale face from my bright blue eyes. He knocked on the door and came in. His perfect lips formed an 'O' shape as he saw my state. His arms wrapped around me instantly and he whispered in my long blonde hair "I'm never going to let you go. I promise it's going to be okay." I held my hand open

AbuseI let out a cry as you shove me into the wall. I slid down to a sitting position. My eyes blurred by tears. But you don’t seem to care. You grab my arm and yank me back up. You keep yelling at me on how my school work goes.

“You try to be smart but your not!” You scream at me, “Your failing everything! If your so smart, why are you a failure!?”

You push me back into the wall and storm out of the room. Leaving me crying in the dark. I hear you break things in the other room.

The next day I go to school. Staying at the side. With a long sweater and jeans to hide all the new scars and bruises from the night befor

No More LightThis dream has become a reality
The once imaginary pain has become real
Kneeling before the altar I scream
The dead pull me apart

They tear at my memories
Twisting reality
Slowly I can see all the dead people walk.
They have come back for me

I did not ask for this pain
The pain that the dead have brought
Life no longer shines in this dark world of pain
Pain created by my mind

The time is soon when I will be consumed
End it all with a quick twist
The graceful blade across a trembling wrist
It is much too late for redemption.

This lifeless body marches with the dead.
Bleeding out all the pain of tomorrow.

Comatose RendevousThe narrow spaces
Between typewritten letters
Are just large enough
To lay in.
You and I
Are crafters of flesh and bone;
Our skins,
Made of weathered canvas
And stitched together with
Sweet dreams on lonely nights.
Blood falls from your lips,
Staining those folded
Paper butterflies
You make so well;
I like to catch them
When they fall,
And toss them back into the air.
There are
Tiny,
Crimson-colored pieces of you
Splattered about the walls
And the inside
Of my mouth.
(You taste of melancholy,
And masked, uneasy lullabies.)
I would happily
Bear the red smears
Of your steady fingertips
If you run out of
Tattered parchment.
Allow me to
Spread my ashes
Over your ribs and
In the hollow of your throat;
You would look beautiful
Covered in faerie-tales
Made of soot.
I will sing to you as we write
A few more,
Peaceful endings
Across our
Broken bodies-
Beds of coal,
Disguised in silks,
Promise dirty wordsmiths breath
In the wake of
Sleepless morns
And restless eves.
I can see myself
Blowing melo

innocenceYou may have it
But you you may lose it
It's such a simple thing to lose
But when it's lost
You look for it again
You try to have it once more
But what to do?
It's already gone
So you pretend
You lie
You fake yourself
You try hard
but instead of that you could
have just cherished yourself
before you get sullied
now it's too late
once it's gone
it will never come back…

I Will Love MeI measure
My worth
Through your eyes to only
See nothing
When I see myself
If you do
Not love me
Then why even bother
To tell me
I'm special at all

From now on
My reason
For living is not
For some one
Who’d throw me aside
Now I
Will love me
The way I had wanted
You to
Love me first

RainRain trickles down my window pane
Sparkling glass
Crying diamond tears

Walking down the lane
Frozen in time
Like an old photograph

Bright colors, subdued with nostalgia
Glistening dewdrops
Kiss the flowers' velvet dresses

A fresh breeze
Swirls around me in a whirlwind of
Hope and love

I inhale the dreams that died
Buried under the hard ground
That the new rain has unearthed

I dance with abandon
Childish laughter bubbles up like a spring
As I vivaciously stomp through a stagnant puddle

Life breathes around me
As I spin and twirl
Smiling as the sun begins to shine on me

Parting through grey clouds
It beams at me with its gorgeous rays
An

Just StopStop, just stop.
Stop throwing those punches.
What'd she ever
Do to hurt you?!

What, be herself?
Be different?

Is it because
She dresses in a way
That you don't like?

Or maybe because
She's dating someone
Who isn't you.

Just stop.
Right now.

Because maybe it
Isn't her who needs
To take a step back
And look at themselves...
Maybe it's you.

You, the bully.
The one who's
Beating up a poor,
Defenseless girl,
All because she's
Not how you want her to be.

She's not your daughter.
Even if she was,
You don't have the control.

You aren't supposed
To want to do this.

We're all different,
All in our own
Wonderful ways.

Me, I write poetry.
That

If tomorrow I don't Wake upI wonder what would happen
If I was never to wake up
Would people even care
I wonder if a commotion would erupt

Would anyone even notice
That I wasn't alive
Would my mother even mourn me
Or could she guess that I wouldn't survive

Well I'm still not dead
But I can barely call this living
I feel like a corpse
That hasn't given up on breathing

But I wonder what would happen
If I was actually to die
Would anyone be bothered
Or care enough to cry

Maybe everyone's just used to
Me living like a corpse
So no one would be bothered
Or life change the slightest off of course

But if I would never wake up
There's no way to know what

I am only happy when I cry.I am only happy when I cry.
I can only smile through the tears.
I can only laugh between shaky breaths.
I can only dance in the rain.

Trust too much and fall too hard.
Take everything to heart.
Knives, swords,
Sometimes even in my back.

I put on a mask for everyone who looks.
A mask of a happy, bubbly girl
Without a care in the world.
The mask comes off when my door closes.

My dam bursts when the mask comes off.
My smile comes out when my tears stain my cheeks.
I laugh for real when I taste salt.
I am only happy when I cry.

I've been living off pain for a few years now.
It's sick and twisted.
I never cried.
Not even at funerals.

My ches

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Submitted: November 15, 2012
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I am a Girl

by ~Beckia-is-awesome, Nov 15, 2012, 11:24:23 AM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Traditional Fixed Forms

I let out a cry,
As you shove me into a wall,
Of the darkened hall,
I slid down to a sitting position,
As you worsen my condition,
My eyes blurred by tears,
But you can't seem to hear.

I am a girl,
You should treat me fair,
Instead of yelling and hitting,
And pulling out my hair.

Leaving me crying,
In the dark,
You start to breaking and throwing,
Things that are sharp,
Glass start to fly,
I hope it gets into your eye,
But instead it hits me in the thigh.

I am a girl,
You should treat me fair,
Instead of yelling and hitting,
And pulling out my hair.

Police arrives at the door,
And they pin you to the floor,
They take me to a home,
Where I'm kept safe and warm,
They tell me your in hell,
And as I'm going to a nice family,
You'll die in a cell.

I am a girl,
Who is being treated fair,
No more yelling or hitting,
or pulling out my hair.

I am a Girlby ~Beckia-is-awesome

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Traditional Fixed Forms

I'm just in a writing mood!
The first paragraph I used is from my story "Abuse" [link] because they are about the same thing and I was writing out a new copy for the story when this poem started to come into my mind, so I wrote the first paragraph and "I am a Girl" was born